Nobody Wins
by StrongerThanISeem
Summary: Redone. Slade had still ripped them apart, even in his grave...


**Apparently, I am not "Stronger Than I Seem". I'm disappointed in myself. I had become sad a couple months ago, and then to get my kick back I tried rereading my stories. And that just made me even sadder. I have progressed far as a writer and looking back on what I immaturely created made me upset. So now, after a lot of pep talks and practice, I am hoping to get some of these stories on track. And that calls for a serious re-do! I'm remodeling this story because honestly? It had nowhere to go. Bleh. Think of this like Extreme Makeover: Fan Fiction Edition. So let's MOVE THAT BUS!!**

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Raven sat against the semi-circle couch, her too thin frame sagging into the cushions. Weariness spread over her face as she glanced at the clock. Robin was cooped up in his room, yet again. The empathy sighed heavily and tucked her bare legs underneath her.

Being Robin's girlfriend of several months had guaranteed Raven as his number-one go-to person when he had a problem. Obviously, the Boy Wonder had a problem and he _defiantly _wasn't going to Raven for help or advice.

Ever since Slade had returned for the umpteenth, Robin had been holed up inside his dark room covered in newspaper clippings, doing research on Slade, his crimes, and leads on where the villain might be. He hadn't slept a wink; he hadn't eaten unless absolutely necessary and he sure didn't take care of his personal hygiene. Raven wondered when was the last time Robin had taken a shower or even brushed his teeth.

It was unnatural for anyone to become this obsessed, and the whole team had noticed it with unnerving concern after the first week. As an empath, emotions were always around her and she could tolerate it (especially with her Tamaranian friend) but _over-whelming_ emotions? She couldn't take it.

The first few weeks had been strenuous on them all; too concerned for their leader, friend, and lover. Then there were the criminals still on the streets. Whenever the alarm sounded, only four out of five were present. Raven stared out of the expansive window on the main floor and recalled all the failed attempts at trying to bring Robin back to them mentally. Cyborg flaunted new high-tech video games and systems, Starfire had tried to coax him out in some sort of holiday tradition that Raven would bet Starfire made up just to help her friend. Beastboy had pulled pranks, joked, asked about going to the movies, all of it. None had succeeded. So, naturally, the three had turned to Robin's "lover", as Starfire called it happily, to help bring the Boy Wonder back.

'_Whatever they thought I could help with they were mistaken…'_ she thought miserably, dropping her hand against the back of the couch in frustration. She had pleaded with him desperately to just go outside for a walk, which was always met with a reply or "Sorry, too busy," or her favorite, "You of all people should know, Raven, that we have to catch this guy."

She had tried bribing him with dates Robin had wanted to go on before but Raven had politely declined, and the cloaked girl found it ironic how she was now in her boyfriend's predicament. _'I'll agree to whatever date he wants us to go on from now on.'_

Unfortunately, now that she had full abilities of her emotions, she could feel the woes of losing a loved one, if not physically but emotionally and mentally. Whenever Robin did come out to get food, drink, or a restroom break, there would always be terse replies and stiffness. Something had happened to their fearless leader but even through the bond they shared, Raven couldn't pull herself through the intricate maze of Robin's determined, puzzled mind. A few tears bedded in her violet eyes, letting Raven thank every force that the only one in the Tower right now besides herself was Robin, and she knew he wouldn't be coming out any time soon.

An ache started forming in her chest, like a gaping hole. _'Calm down,'_ Raven told herself. Uncrossing her legs, she formed them into her meditative stance and closed her eyes.

"Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos. Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos." She murmured the words to herself, her body floating up languorously as her hair fell in front of her face.

"Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos." Raven tried calming herself, tried reaching deep into her spiritual essence and finding some sort of peace for the moment, but her problems formed a brick wall in her mind.

Memories rushed behind her closed eyelids, as she imagined herself exploring through the dark depths of her conscience. One instant caught her attention and she turned to it.

-.-.-.-.-

Robin had finally came out of his room in daylight for the first time in four days. Cyborg and Beastboy were half-heartedly arguing over lunch; the ever persistent battle of Tofu vs. Ham. Or bacon. Or whatever meat product Cyborg was in the mood to consume. Starfire was dancing around with Silkie to some sort of screeching cat music, or what she called the Florg Trose. Raven was positioned at the counter in the kitchen, reading a large worn book and uninterestedly flipping through it while listening to her two friends fight over food.

The usually red, yellow, and green adorned teenager had taken a single step into the room when everything except the music from the stereo had stopped. Starfire paused mid-twirl with her pet maggot, staring in innocent wonder at her disgruntled friend who was in nothing but sweatpants, a shirt, and his mask. Cyborg had stopped and looked warily at Robin, a piece of uncooked bacon limp in his hand. Beastboy was grimacing slightly, which he always seemed to do now. Later explanation had found that he had been the only one at the time to actually _smell_ Robin, who reeked. Raven peeked up from her book and with only a small dash of hope straightened as Robin passed by her and headed towards the refrigerator.

Just as she was about to speak, Beastboy had moved and briefly touched the older teen's shoulder, trying to smile and joke with him.

"Hey Robin!" is what he probably meant to say, but he had inevitably startled the on-edge leader who had startling reflexes, even after being awake for so long.

Beastboy had gotten out, "Hey," and before he knew it he was thrown back into a wall with several Bird-O-Rangs sticking from his Titan uniform. Robin was facing him, arm outward from its throwing position and suddenly realized what he had done.

"Oh. Sorry Beastboy." He had answered gruffly. Too gruff for Beastboy's tastes.

"Oh?!" Sorry Beastboy…?!" The changeling mocked angrily as Starfire had single-handedly removed him from the wall. He began picking out the weapons.

"Dude! You could of killed me!" He had exclaimed again. Robin glanced at him as the refrigerator door blasted cool air.

"But I didn't." he off-handedly replied, rummaging through the shelves.

"You _could _have. Who's to say one of us won't startle you next time and end up with one of those things in the head?" Cyborg cut in.

Raven and Starfire glanced at each other. Throughout the weeks, the two girls had heard Cyborg and Beastboy become more than a little agitated over Robin's attitude, and they wondered if this was the last straw.

They were, unfortunately, right. More statements were passed, accusations made, and before either of the females realized it, the yelling had began. Then, Cyborg had finally said what they all had wanted to.

"Robin, you are on a ghost hunt! When Slade finally shows up from the dead yet _again_, then we'll find him and beat him! Who says he is even alive?! Robin, you may be obsessed with finding Slade, but we aren't! There are still other criminals in Jump City, not to mention that you haven't even cared about the team for the last month! We need you Robin, and you need to realize that! You are losing yourself!" The large robotic man had yelled, right into Robin's stone hard face. That face contorted with a raw emotion. Robin had never looked more frightening.

"You don't understand. Slade could come back at any time. He could kill one of you. We need to be ready for him if he attacks!" His voice at grown louder. It had grew angry and had a hint of fear at it.

Beastboy scowled.

"You're right, we don't understand. Yeah, he may come for us, but we could die any day from anything! Slade isn't the only thing that could kill us! Why can't we just live in the moment for now and if the time comes to fight Slade again, then we do. You're wasting your life, man!"

Raven had held a brief moment of awe at Beastboy's declaration, incredibly deep and right to the point.

Robin had just tensed and shook his head slowly. Starfire, who could recite all the tell-tale signs of a fight about to start, had edged her way into the conversation. More like head-butted.

"Friends! Please calm down! We have been fighting for so long now that I haven't seen a true smile exchanged in a glorkrig. Can't we put this Slade business aside for now?"

"No." Robin stated icily. He stormed out of the room with whatever he had gotten out of the fridge. Raven looked down at her open book on the counter. She wished Robin was like that right now- an open book. But then again, she wished she could of said something to calm everyone down. Not a word had passed from her lips during the whole encounter.

After that fight, Robin didn't speak anymore.

-.-.-.-.-.-

A small tear slipped passed Raven's eyes and landed somewhere below. Her concentration faltered and she dropped onto the couch again, strangely exhausted. Well, not so strangely. As Robin declined, it seemed he took Raven's heart with him. After each fight, or argument, or tense moment, Raven spiraled downward a little more. She had only eaten small portions, and when she did she didn't eat frequently. She tossed and turned at night knowing Robin's mind and body was failing as she was somehow unable to help bring him back.

The others shot her looks, filled with worry, sympathy, and a certain kind of fear. They had never expected the two strongest members of the team to fall apart so quickly. And as Raven and Robin fell, the others drifted. The green teenagers and robotic man had altogether stopped playing video games. Starfire sat in the main room, lonely and sad. She had recently begun going out of the Tower whenever she could. Raven started only coming out at dawn and dusk.

The Teen Titans were having major problems and they didn't know if they could fix it. Whenever there was crime, only one or two would go out to stop it.

Raven stared at her hands in her lap for a few moments. The whole in her chest grew with each second. The depression she had formed reared its ugly head.

Another tear fell. Then another.

A secret longing she had felt from many years ago suddenly sprang to life in her chest. _'No! No, I won't!' _She told herself over and over.

It kept growing. Raven closed her eyes and put her hand over them , appearing older than she really was.

"No. That's not the way it should end…" she whispered to herself, to the pain in her heart.

_One last try._

One last try to make everything alright. One more try to bring Robin back. Raven pulled herself off the couch, tears still falling. Her footsteps mocked her as they rang off the hollow empty hallway. She passed many doors until she finally came to the one she knocked on all the time.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Slow and soft. This was eating her. This was gnawing away at her mind and confidence. Just one last time, something whispered in her head.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Kno-

"What do you want, Rae?" That was a welcome surprise. She had actually heard Robin's voice. She looked at her 'boyfriend' with her watery purple eyes, and just stared at him. His spiky hair was disheveled and she saw the computer on in his room, surrounding my stacks and stacks of papers and case reports.

"Can we do…something?"

"Something?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes. Anything. Go for a walk. Go to a movie. Hang out in the main room and talk. Something." She sounded worn out, depressed, and lost.

"I can't, Raven. I'm busy. Maybe next time."

_Maybe next time._

_But would there be a next time?_

She decided tears were stupid and useless as they began trailing down her face in small rivers. Raven nodded shortly, weakly before turning on her heel.

A soft 'click' of a door meant that Robin didn't care she was crying and he had just returned to his work.

'_I'm supposed to be the emotionally strong one! The rock! And I can't even keep it together!' _The voice in her head then replied.

'_End it.'_

No, there were other ways, she kept telling herself. She didn't need to kill herself. She just wanted release from this pain in her chest from where the only one she had ever loved in her life besides her mother had rejected her over and over.

She wordlessly walked to her depressing room, adding more dour thoughts to her collection of miseries.

Raven's shoulders cracked loudly as she rolled them around, limply. Her eyes scanned her room, the view from her window, and her reflection in the mirror. She looked like a mess. Her eyes betrayed a deep hurt.

_End it. End it. End it._

She couldn't and she wouldn't. Imagine what everyone would think. The Titans would think she betrayed them, the city would think she was a coward.

'_But I know I need to go.'_

Starfire, Beastboy, and Cyborg would be sad if she left, but Robin…she had no clue what he would think or do. Something then snapped inside Raven. She immediately burst to life, and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

-.-.-.-.-

Several hours later, Robin had come out of his room to get water. His throat was as dry as cotton from not wetting it and he was getting uncomfortable from sitting in the same place for more than an hour. His mind kept returning to when Raven weakly knocked on his door, looking so devastated, and asked him to at least remember she was there. He felt regret in him as she walked away, but what would happen if Slade came back and took Raven from him? He couldn't lose Raven.

When he got into the main room he saw that the others were there, sitting in silence, but there was no empath. Robin mentally shrugged and grabbed a bottle of water. He walked quietly through the desolate hallways, the only sound he heard was his footsteps…

…until a melody caught his hearing, and he turned in confusion. He went in the direction of the music which seemed to be coming from Raven's door. The violet-haired girl never listened to music, especially not this kind. A curiosity pulled him to knock on the door, but only seconds after he did that did he realize that when Raven answered the door he wouldn't have anything to say.

As he was running through possibilities of just _why_ he was knocking on her door he noticed that the door did not slide open. Raven always heard knocking, whether there was some other loud noise in her room or not.

His instincts told him something was wrong, and his paranoia set in. Was Raven okay? Did Slade break in? And so on.

He reached for the access code panel next to the door and easily entered the code, which he knew by heart. Robin recalled the two sneaking away into one of their rooms to sleep together, and how they had memorized each other's codes and schedules. A sharp pang of sadness hit him but his worry kicked back to his main thought as the door slide open with a beep.

The room was darker than usual, no incense burning or moving figure. When Robin squinted into the bleak room he found no mass of blankets on the bed. In fact, something seemed off about everything.

_Hold your head up high  
You're never wrong_

He stepped cautiously into the room, suddenly shivering. The window was open above Raven's bed, the dark curtains flowing gently with the breeze. The relics and artifacts sitting on the shelf that never had bothered Raven before perturbed him at that moment. It was if they were accusing them of something.

_Somewhere in the right you belong  
You would rather fight than walk away_

The grand bed in the middle of the room seemed colder than the room itself. Nothing in there was warm. It was then that he noticed several dusty places on the bookshelves and dressers that held books and possessions but were now empty.

_What a lonely way to breathe the air  
What an unlovely way to say you care_

"What the…?" Robin whispered to himself. More than confused and twice as worried, Robin scoured the area once again. No signs of a struggle and if there were any emergency Raven would have set off the Titan alarm.

_Now we're too far gone for me to save  
And I never thought that we'd come to this_

Despite the cold exterior Robin had taken on recently he still cared- about everyone on the team. Cyborg and Beastboy were his brothers, Starfire his sister, and Raven his lover. He knew that all of them were stressed and sad but something at that point in time, staring around in Raven's empty room as soft music played from somewhere and moonlight poured through the open window, scared him. Not scared as in 'Slade-is-coming' scared but a deeper sense, almost a sense of loss…

_Maybe there's beauty in goodbye  
No one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away_

Suddenly there was a rustle of paper as the wind picked up a notch. Robin locked eyes onto the windowsill where a piece of folded white paper was taped to the edge, right over the headboard. It fluttered for a few more valiant seconds before dying along with the wind. Robin approached it carefully, as if it were some criminal about to run. He slowly outstretched his arm to grasp the paper, which was apparently doused in some kind of sweet smelling perfume or incense. The teen's heart beat sped up in panic. _'Please don't be what I think it is. Please don't be what I think it is. Please…'_

_There's just no reason left to try  
Now it's gone too far, look at where we are_

The folded paper bent back under his hands as he opened it. A small breath was released as he saw Raven's curvy hand-writing, but suddenly he felt he should have held that breath. A sort of dizziness came over him. A hand shot to his forehead and he blinked. This couldn't be happening; this was the last thing he expected! Liquid began streaming down his face and Robin squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop crying. The paper, now his enemy, crumpled under his iron grip. No…

_You push me away  
Another black day  
Let's count up the reasons to cry_

Robin took a shaky step backwards, opened his eyes again and glanced about the unforgiving room. Things weren't right, and everything was crumpling under an already shaky foundation. Robin spun on his bare heel and began racing down the corridors of the tower, trying to remember where the main room was exactly, for he knew he had probably just gone crazy and wouldn't even remember his name.

He passed through the sliding door and skidded to a halt in front of a surprised alien, changeling, and robot.

"Robin?" Starfire asked warily, as if afraid to approach him. Which he couldn't blame her. Still in his shocked silence, Robin thrust the paper out in from of him, which was wrinkled from his grip. Robin took another unsteady step and collapsed upon a chair. The others began reading the paper.

Suddenly, Robin chuckled bitterly. Even though Slade could have been dead, the boy wonder thought, he had still torn his team apart.

_Look what you've missed, living like this  
Nobody wins (nobody wins)_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Forgive me, please! It's past 3 and I kind of rushed the ending! But I do hope this is better than the first one! Review!**


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